Thursday, August 12, 2010

You got to live a little, love a little…and have a little courage…

Hello All,
This post is not about my weight loss journey directly. It is about life events that I feel are important to share with you.

Soon, my father will pass. He has end stage esophageal cancer that has been relentless and aggressive. You already know that my father would never qualify as a father of the year type. But, he did what he could under the circumstances of his own life for my siblings and I. I do not know what in his own past may have contributed to his actions or inactions across the years. I have my theories. What I do know is that I will always, always, always be grateful for the life that he gave to me. I can never remember my father expressing his love for his children, including me. He showed it in other ways, but could not verbalize it. Over the past few days I have told him “I Love You” and he has spoken the words that I used to long to hear: I love you, too. It is poignant and healing to hear these now. They were a long time coming.

So hearing these words made me ruminate about my blog readers. What about you? Is there someone in your life who should hear those three little, but, powerful words from you? There is no time like today to muster the courage and say them. Michele

9 comments:

  1. Great post. Being an adult child is always challenging. I lost both my mom and dad the same year. I did know how much they loved me and never withheld it. I can't even imagine your thoughts upon finally hearing those words.

    I always end phone calls with loved ones with "love ya". Really people can't hear it enough!

    Thanks for the reminder.

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  2. I'm sorry to hear about your Dad, but I'm so glad that you are able to be with him and have some closure with him. My relationship with my Dad is estranged. I haven't seen or heard from him in years and while this is difficult, I know it is best for me an my family. He is just too toxic and it's better that he's not around my children. I wish you and your family the best in this difficult time.

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  3. Amen, Michele! If you read my blog (http://gainsandlosseslifethroughsharonseyes.blogspot.com/), you know that we are in the same situation with my FIL. Very little time left on earth and no time left for him to understand what we say. Fortunately, it had all been said over and over. He knows how much he is loved and we know how much he loves us. We hope that even now he can still comprehend touch because one of us is holding him all the time. DO NOT WAIT! Do it for the sake of the other person, but mostly do it for YOU!

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  4. Michele, I agree. I had a bit of a rocky relationship with my mom in years past, but it has gotten better with effort on both our parts. I love you can never be said enough, ever. I am glad you got to hear your dad tell you he loves you before it was too late, even if you did know he loved you.

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  5. I'm sorry to hear about your dad but glad you gave him the opportunity to express his love. Losing somebody is hard, so hard. Be kind to yourself in the process . . .

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  6. My dad is also at the end of his life. He's in a mental place now where what he says doesn't make sense and I'm not at all sure he understands what we're saying to him, but one thing for sure. I know he always loved me and he knows I've always loved him. See my post today. I'm so glad you're making those necessary connections with your own father. Hugs during this difficult time.

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  7. So sad he missed say those simple, but powerful words. So glad you got to hear them. Never heard them from my dad. So sad!!! Hugs!

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  8. OMG - I wrote a post about this in March, near the anniversary of my own father's passing 23 years ago. And how I regret that his unexpected death meant I could not say "I love you" and how that made me realize we need to say it more often! I am sorry about your dad, but glad you could have those words.

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  9. I'm so sorry to hear about your father but what a wonderful thing you two were able to share. It is such a blessing to hear those words and this is an excellent reminder for us to tell those we love those words often!

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